»WORST PUNS

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by -Killas-, Feb 12, 2016.

  1. -Killas-

    -Killas- Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    678
    Ratings:
    +367 / -0
    hey guys, post some shitty puns

    lets see who is the pun master ;)

    what do you call a handsome bread?...BREAD PITT
    ahaha get it? bradd pit? no?...ok :c
     
    #1
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Thekillermatic

    Thekillermatic Head-admin | Eggwars Member

    Messages:
    3,090
    Ratings:
    +5,538 / -0
    How do you call a man, who has lost his car?

    A Carlos!
     
    #2
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  3. ShadowGamer12

    ShadowGamer12 Ancient Poster Member

    Messages:
    853
    Ratings:
    +86 / -0
    What do you call a racist bear?Racear...get it...racist bear?...no...ok:(
     
    #3
  4. -Killas-

    -Killas- Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    678
    Ratings:
    +367 / -0
    lol nice one ;D
     
    #4
  5. Thekillermatic

    Thekillermatic Head-admin | Eggwars Member

    Messages:
    3,090
    Ratings:
    +5,538 / -0
    I'm reading this book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down!
     
    #5
    • Funny Funny x 4
  6. RP39

    RP39 Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    505
    Ratings:
    +234 / -0
    index.jpg index1.jpg images1.jpg images3.jpg images2.jpg
     
    #6
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. -Killas-

    -Killas- Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    678
    Ratings:
    +367 / -0
  8. -Killas-

    -Killas- Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    678
    Ratings:
    +367 / -0
    hey there cows,why dont guys MOO-ve a lil bit?
     
    #8
    • Like Like x 1
  9. -Killas-

    -Killas- Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    678
    Ratings:
    +367 / -0
    Bumpty bump!
     
    #9
  10. ScarYHD

    ScarYHD Forum Master Member

    Messages:
    1,519
    Ratings:
    +424 / -0
    what goes up must go down ---- DiegoNick in anni statas
     
    #10
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. Jince222

    Jince222 Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    510
    Ratings:
    +480 / -0
    What goes down and never goes up? Jince222's Kill Death Ratio on KitPvP :/ I cri
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2016
    #11
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
  12. Game_Time

    Game_Time Honorary Poster Member

    Messages:
    407
    Ratings:
    +60 / -0
    What's low? My ping
     
    #12
  13. RP39

    RP39 Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    505
    Ratings:
    +234 / -0
    1.jpg 2.jpg images.jpg talking-dog.jpg tumblr_myjmh4x6PR1st5bc2o1_1280.jpg 3.jpg
     
    #13
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  14. Ashley89

    Ashley89 Ancient Poster Member

    Messages:
    706
    Ratings:
    +1,756 / -0
    So I was talking to @eXDawnsaur yesterday, about just founding out what his IGN was, then I made this pun which I will remember for years to come...

    <11:00:16> "Ashley89": i was trying to tag u on a congrats post with @Dawn then no response
    <11:00:31> "Ashley89": then it "dawn"ed upon me, that u might be exdawnsaur
    <11:00:34> "Ashley89": holy shit
    <11:00:36> "Ashley89": that pun

    :')
     
    #14
    • Funny Funny x 2
  15. Bunny

    Bunny Nimble Knuckle Member

    Messages:
    306
    Ratings:
    +340 / -0
    So, I went on a pun rampage the other day..

    <17:50:07> "Bunny": lolo doesnt appreciate my puns
    <17:50:14> "Bunny": i think im very punny
    <17:50:18> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": I hate that one
    <17:50:20> "[lolocraft/trustinq] lolocraft/trustinq": No
    <17:50:27> "gr4ndLy": British girls are always "punny"
    <17:50:35> "Bunny": i tried to catch the fog
    <17:50:36> "Bunny": but i mist
    <17:50:54> "Creep"S": bunny isnt british
    <17:50:56> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": *missed
    <17:50:57> "gr4ndLy": And they have a insanely high alcohol tolerance
    <17:52:03> "Bunny": this girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but id never met herbivore
    <17:52:19> "gr4ndLy": *rolls eyes
    <17:52:23> "[Paddy] Paddy™":
    <17:52:28> "Bunny": why couldn’t the skeleton share the bad news
    <17:52:33> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": No.
    <17:52:35> "Bunny": he didnt have the heart
    <17:52:35> "[lolocraft/trustinq] lolocraft/trustinq": No.
    <17:52:36> "Bunny": YES
    <17:52:41> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": No.
    <17:52:47> "[lolocraft/trustinq] lolocraft/trustinq": ^
    <17:53:20> "Bunny": im always on time with my jokes, i guess you could say im pretty
    <17:53:23> "Bunny": pun-tual
    <17:53:26> "Bunny": ****
    <17:53:27> "Bunny": lmao
    <17:53:34> "Creep"S": lol
    <17:54:15> "Bunny": did u hear about the guy whose left leg and arm got cut off?
    <17:54:19> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": These jokes are so funny, I just keep forgetting to laugh
    <17:54:21> "Bunny": hes all right now though
    <17:54:21> "gr4ndLy": IRA are stupid
    <17:54:27> "Mauri": Lmao bunny
    <17:54:33> "Bunny2hot's Music Bot": ello
    <17:54:35> "gr4ndLy": Fucking republicans
    <17:54:41> "Bunny": everyone hates my puns but i think theyre fucking amazing
    <17:54:51> "Bunny": my friends bakery burned down last night
    <17:54:55> "Bunny": now his business is toast
    <17:54:59> "Bunny2hot's Music Bot": rip
    <17:55:04> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": **** I actually laughed
    <17:55:23> "Bunny": have you ever tried to eat a clock, its very time consuming
    <17:55:32> "Creep"S": can you put that joke back in da desert
    <17:55:38> "Bunny": no
    <17:56:19> "Bunny": im glad ik sign language
    <17:56:21> "Bunny": its pretty handy
    <17:56:29> "Creep"S": ...............
    <17:57:07> "Bunny": yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring
    <17:57:09> "gr4ndLy": Please kill me.
    <17:57:10> "Bunny": the doctor says I'm oke, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside
    <17:57:26> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": All I read was "yesterday I accidentally swallowed"
    <17:57:28> "Bunny": the other day I held the door open for a clown. i thought it was a nice jester.
    <17:57:31> "Creep"S": is there a BUUUUU button here?
    <17:57:35> "[lolocraft/trustinq] lolocraft/trustinq": <18:56:44> "[Bunny] Bunny": yesterday I accidentally swallowed
    <17:57:40> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": ^^^^
    <17:57:42> "Bunny": when you choke on air theres actually imaginary dicks in ur mouth
    <17:57:45> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": *screenshot*
    <17:57:48> "[lolocraft/trustinq] lolocraft/trustinq": Spit or swallow?
    <17:57:55> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": half n half
    <17:57:59> "Creep"S": <17:57:25> "Bunny": when you choke on air theres actually imaginary dicks in ur mouth
    <17:58:07> "gr4ndLy": Homosexual and has a foot fetish.
    <17:58:17> "Bunny": the man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
    <17:58:26> "Bunny": i saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen
    <17:58:29> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": Why am I still reading this
    <17:58:38> "Bunny": because you secretly have a pun fetish
    <17:59:01> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": "Tell me puns while you I touch your toes"
    <17:59:05> "Creep"S": im just going to close TS its better for my life
    <17:59:12> "Bunny": yes it is creeps
    <17:59:57> "Bunny": atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers
    <18:00:12> "Bunny": it was an emotional wedding
    <18:00:16> "Bunny": even the cake was in tiers
    <18:00:20> "Mauri": xd
    <18:00:34> "Bunny": im just waiting for like evryone to hate me cos of this lmao
    <18:00:44> "gr4ndLy": For gods sake stop will ya?
    <18:00:50> *** You are now talking in channel: "Movie Channel"
    <18:00:53> *** You are now talking in channel: "Official Music Bot Channel"

    (Part 1, too many puns)
     
    #15
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. Bunny

    Bunny Nimble Knuckle Member

    Messages:
    306
    Ratings:
    +340 / -0
    Part deux (characters are limited to 1k so had to delete a lot of responses to fit em all in)

    <18:01:54> "Bunny": sleeping comes so naturally to me i could do it with my eyes clothes
    <18:01:58> "Bunny": closed*
    <18:02:25> "Bunny": meanwhile https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-s...ebdr02/anigif_enhanced-24411-1442771265-3.gif
    <18:02:27> "Mauri": Keep going bunny
    <18:02:34> "[lolocraft/trustinq] lolocraft/trustinq": mauri
    <18:02:36> "[lolocraft/trustinq] lolocraft/trustinq": WHATS WORNG WITH YOU
    <18:02:40> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": Mauri
    <18:02:41> "Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ❤ⒿⓂⓄⓄⓃ ❤Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ": shhhh
    <18:06:52> "Mauri": german sausage jokes are the wurst
    <18:07:03> "gr4ndLy": http://38.media.tumblr.com/365b025af2f544fc2725814c02fbb1c8/tumblr_inline_ntfw5ifdBg1saejp2_540.gif
    <18:07:45> "Mauri": That's courtesy of bunny
    <18:07:47> "Mauri": You're welcome
    <18:07:52> "Bunny": <3
    <18:08:08> "Bunny": broken puppets for sale, no strings attached
    <18:09:10> "Bunny": What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
    <18:09:30> "Bunny": if there as someone selling drugs around herwe
    <18:09:33> "Bunny": weed know
    <18:11:33> "Bunny": i was gonna say a pun about infinity
    <18:11:37> "Bunny": but it didnt have an ending
    <18:12:46> "Mauri": I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction
    <18:13:01> "Bunny": the scientist had trouble reducing the liquid, he just couldn't concentrate
    <18:13:27> "Mauri": I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind
    <18:13:46> "[Paddy] Paddy™": What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
    <18:13:59> "[Paddy] Paddy™": Let epsilon be smaller than zero
    <18:14:02> "Bunny": i used to be addicted to soap but im clean no
    <18:14:08> "Mauri": I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
    <18:14:18> "[Paddy] Paddy™": did anyone get ma joke
    <18:14:29> "Bunny": if towels could tlel jokes theyd probs have a dry sense of humour
    <18:14:43> "Mauri": A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game
    <18:15:02> "Bunny": i was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
    <18:15:20> "Bunny": Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
    <18:15:33> "Mauri": Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
    <18:15:33> "gr4ndLy": Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
    <18:15:37> "Mauri": LOL
    <18:15:39> "gr4ndLy": HAHhahhaa
    <18:15:44> "Bunny": there was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils
    <18:15:46> "Mauri": XD
    <18:15:55> "gr4ndLy": Mauri we are telepathic mate
    <18:16:00> "Mauri": xDD
    <18:16:06> "gr4ndLy": ...or we both use google
    <18:16:31> "Bunny": The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down.
    <18:16:45> "Mauri": He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
    <18:17:14> "Bunny": A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
    <18:17:24> "Mauri": I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something.
    <18:17:38> "Bunny": I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
    <18:17:49> "Bunny": A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
    <18:18:00> "gr4ndLy": Bunny I loathe you, stop it!
    <18:18:12> "Bunny": Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word
    <18:18:15> "Bunny": lyt
    <18:18:34> "Mauri": The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
    <18:18:37> "Bunny": What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
    <18:18:55> "Bunny": What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
    <18:19:00> "Mauri": Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
    <18:19:07> "Bunny": The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
    <18:19:25> "Bunny": The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
    <18:19:26> "Mauri": A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
    <18:19:28> "[Paddy] Paddy™": bunny
    <18:19:40> "Bunny": Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
    <18:19:41> "Bunny": yessum
    <18:20:09> "Bunny": The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business.
    <18:20:53> "Bunny": I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.
    <18:21:22> "Bunny": They just found a sword swallower dead. The police suspect it's an inside job.
    <18:21:27> "Bunny": okay im done
    <18:23:02> "Bunny": wait one more
    <18:23:09> "gr4ndLy": **** off.
    <18:23:16> "Bunny": lyt
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2016
    #16
    • Funny Funny x 1
  17. Satab

    Satab Addict Member

    Messages:
    167
    Ratings:
    +84 / -0
    I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
    My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
    Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
    He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
    I don't trust stairs, because they're always up to something.
    The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
     
    #17
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  18. BlueJay

    BlueJay Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    506
    Ratings:
    +467 / -0
    I used to be a banker... but I lost interest... classic.. gg wp
     
    #18
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. -Killas-

    -Killas- Faithful Poster Member

    Messages:
    678
    Ratings:
    +367 / -0
    Zhah the first one is da best xD
     
    #19
  20. KryptoRC

    KryptoRC Eternal Poster Member

    Messages:
    1,117
    Ratings:
    +700 / -0
    A coke hit me in the head, but I was okay, because it was a soft drink.
     
    #20

Share This Page